Frustration

Some days are frustrating no matter what you do.

• FSA is holding $5,000 worth of my paycheck because they overpaid me $14.12 and they won't pay the medical bills until I pay them back.
• Then the automatic bill pay took and paid a couple of bills twice. It was all going to work fine so I paid for a couple of dating sites. Which are turn out every little of actual conversation with a guy. Dating has not worked out since the very beginning of December...or maybe the last of November. Seems like no one on there wants to get to know me for thr right reasons.
• Now my rent will bounce and I hate it when that happens.
• Then there is the lack of heat and renters credit form that was filled out in the wrong name.

Feeling like it is a very steep up hill climb.

The neat part is that DAR listened to me and then got me to smile. He seems to know what to do to make me happy again. DAR sent this cute picture of himself to me that had a really cute smile. What a great man.

Timing

     Looking at my different bits and pieces of journals here and there I came across the fact that on 8/29/09 DSH was stilling in love with me. On 9/5/09 DAR was first in SL. Almost like they swapped places. All of this makes me wonder if it will work with DAR. Seems interesting that DAR comes back right then, just as DSH starts to lose the ability to love me again.  Yet I seem to go for days with hardly 10 words being spoken each day. Then he will make sure we have hours to talk. I am not sleeping well the last... 3 weeks or so. I go down late and with the slightest noise I am up. This is wearing me out. I wish I had someone male in the Twin Cities to spend some time with. *sigh*

Married Men

How do you begin? It is hard to explain how things feel and how thoughts go. Spending time with three different married men and it is the holidays. They have to spend time with their families. I am first to no one. I get the leftovers, which is very little time. Last year.I was DSH's world. Now I am alone. My boys are sweet, but I get the time that they do not need to be with their families. My time with them may end so quickly. Then I am left with nothing to do. I am stuck waiting for one of them to be free. So much for being a true Mistress. I am still accomidating a man, or men and what they want. Time with DAR is limited in the same way. When he is able to get away he calls or sends messages. DAR says he will be here but the date keeps backing up. DAR says I belongs with him and in his arms. But when? I really just want to roll over and not wake up for a while. Wake when DAR or someone was here for me.

Knowing Attraction

DAR says that the more he gets to know me, the more he wants to be with me. I must admit I am attracted to him as well. It feels like the sexual attraction is still there as well as enjoying talking to DAR.

Replacement Phone

     DAR called to let me know that he dropped his phone and the screen broke. I called AT&T to make sure the insurance was on there. It was not. October 6, 2009 was when I got the phone. Somehow it got missed then. Probably due to all the confusion around getting the phone to DAR it got missed. The woman I spoke with said that a manager was putting it on the account and it would be active today. Tomorrow DAR will go to the AT&T store and see if they can swap it out at the store. If not I suggested a ToGoPhone. We will see what happens tomorrow. DAR sounded funny and I asked what was up. He was waiting for me to yell at him like his wife would have. I told him, I do not do that. It was an accident and it would work out. No reason to yell at him. It was an accident. DAR sounded releaved that I did not yell at him. I am glad he called rather than worry about it all night. What kind of woman yells at her man over an accident? Well DAR sounded better and is off to get ready for work. Sounds like he may have broke it earlier in the day and waited this long to tell me because he mentioned just getting up and that the phone broke out in the cold. I am glad he got some sleep.
      Follow-up: DAR went to the AT&T store and spoke with the man there. The end result is that DAR has a new phone and I get $179 reduction in this coming bill, including a $50 rebate. I had purchased to many apps wirelessly. The good thing is that DAR has a working phone again.

Voice Message

My Longing sent a MMS message to me. This sweet MMS recording of his voice. It sounds so kind and loving. Makes me think that it my really be possible that he cares for me.

Coming to MN

DAR talks a lot about coming to MN and spending time together. While I hope what he says is true. I do not want to get Don's hopes up of being more than friends. (Or mine for that matter)

Permission

Now I have permission to touch anything and ask anything.

Care

DAR says he will take care of me for the rest of my life. He is currently married, but having real problems. Sun am jail, Tue court, & Wed court again. Will need to find out more.

Phone

Sent DAR a phone.

THE GIRL

DAR discovered I was "the girl".

Entered SecondLife

DAR first came into SecondLife.